These SoCal adventurers are phenomenal. Don’t let their dashing young looks and newlywed vibes fool you, they’ve been married for 6 years! (Honored to be one of Victoria’s bridesmaids). Therefore they’ve got some wise tools, tips, and stories to share. John and Victoria are our last couple on the Joyward blog! It would be fun to continue these “interviews” with more married couples throughout whatever lies before us. For now they are couple #5 and a great way to wrap up the series of “Meet the….”
Their marriage personality is a good mixture of adventure, hard-work, and truth. They seek adventure, and are super intentional people. Their marriage is far from being on autopilot. Fun story, at Kyle and I’s wedding we had a small mailbox set out on a table where guests could write and give us their marriage advice. One of our favorites, and one we still quote to this day, was from John. Victoria wrote something beautiful and encouraging (and we loved it), and John wrote “Dude, just don’t be an ass…”
After our honeymoon, while unpacking our 60 boxes into our new home, we unfolded and read all the advice from our guests. When we opened the piece of paper that held such wise words of John, we cried laughing. He spoke truth, I say that because sometimes you forget to be courteous and kind to someone you spend the majority of your time with. Sometimes we’re just rude, because we get really comfortable with the other person and we drop simple politeness that we learned in grade school. When moments like that happen, it’s best if you don’t over think or over spiritualize something and cut to the chase…don’t be a jerk.
I love their priorities. John and Victoria, from my perspective, identify what they desire, and then go for it. They are a hard working and goal-oriented couple. Their accomplishments come off as really inspiring to me because it shows how much teamwork can do.
One of the priorities we talked about with them is having a “date night”. John described date night as a reminder of why you first fell in love with your spouse. They would take one evening a week and go do something fun together. It could be a bike ride, a hike, a camping trip, dessert, big or small, it’s intentional carefree time. When Victoria started nursing school, their schedules looked different and spare time was harder to come by. But they adjusted their usual date night agendas and made it more realistic for the season of their life.
Prior to Joyward, Kyle and I implemented date nights into our weeks. Since it is just us in the house we do see each other a lot, but it isn’t the same type of quality time as a date night. If you’re interested how we approached this topic. Here are some tips!
Tips for date nights:
We set boundaries before hand of certain topics that are off the table. These could be things like work, finances, or deadlines, anything that makes one of you apprehensive or stressed.
-Budget: Set a budget beforehand, it creates a carefree night when you know your limits.
-Plan: Take turns planning, switch off every other week.
-Goal: Talk about the goal of date night: intentional time of continually getting to know one another.
When I asked the Salzarulo’s what advice would they pass on to another couple they mentioned having community, because it never hurts to have more than one perspective. It’s easy to see things one way, and usually it’s a biased opinion. When in community, you see how other couples interact, and you’re challenged to sharpen and edify your life. When Kyle and I brainstormed about our time with them for this post, Kyle pointed out how well John and Victoria interacted with each other. They feed off each other, taking responsible for their own actions and they never blamed the other.
John and Victoria, thank you so much for having breakfast with us in Southern California at one of our favorite spots, and for letting us get a glimpse into your marriage! Every bit of your guy’s journey, the hard and good, is inspiring.